Journal Daze: Bearing the Overload (NOT!)

So, I like to consider myself as a girl who is pretty even-keel. I don’t get overly emotional about stupid little things (though I’m a big cry baby when it comes to sappy movies, spiritual moments, or others’ tales of woe), am usually slow to anger, and don’t sweat the small stuff. And yet, here I am . . . . taking the day off from “normal life” because I realized that I needed a break. Do you ever get stressed without noticing it – and then all of a sudden – bam, the signs are right there before your face? Well, that’s what I did this weekend.

Minding my own business I discovered that while I was trying to do all the good things I’m supposed to do, I was also craving chocolate, sugary treats, not sleeping well, and then . . . . started to feel the onset of a cold with the fatigue, swollen glands and sore throat. That’s when I realized that my zombie looking blotched eyes, acne ridden chocolate face, and raspy throat (seems I’ve already got my Halloween costume – yuck!) were manifestations of the stress I was internalizing from moving, schooling, mothering, and running a household. And to think, I didn’t even know that I was stressed! Isn’t it funny how we as women take on so much, don’t (often) complain – and then all of a sudden, break down a bit because we were carrying more than we could handle?

I think about the scriptures, the Savior telling us to, “Bear ye one another’s burdens.” I’m more than delighted to help bear others’ burdens . . . . but often refuse to allow them to bear mine. I think that is common to women. More often than not, we struggle with our burdens in silence . . . until we break down, get sick, go into depression, eat a gallon of ice cream, or dry up the local reserves of Kleenex. Isn’t it selfish of me to not allow others to do service by accepting their help . . . or maybe even asking for it? I know that I feel of greater value to my friends and family when I can be of service to them, should I deny them the same? I want them to know that I need them, that they’re central to my well-being. So, tomorrow – I’m going to ask for help, so that I can get a couple of papers written and some packing done!

Marzee Dyer (aka "BigZee")
Washington, USA

Journal Daze: Share a day in your life, an entry from your journal. Email your Journal Daze to Women Afire. Be sure to title your subject "Journal Daze: (Title of your entry)". Visit Submissions for more information.
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Journal Daze: Balancing Squat

September 28, 2008

Some days I feel tired, even when I haven’t had a tiring day. Today is one of those days. It’s funny, I wrote an article about balancing life – taking out unnecessary extras (yet to be published), and here I am barely balancing my extras. Of course, the extra of extras is the blog that I wrote the article for. If I was to cut something out, the blog would be the first thing. However, I hesitate because it has the promise of doing/being something great . . . at least to me, I hope to others as well. It’s crazy, when I first got the idea to start the site, I just wanted to find a way to inspire and help other women. I would lay awake for hours with ideas running through my head, writing articles, and such. And then, when it comes time to actually sit down and do something, I seem blank and on overload with other responsibilities – so much that my creative juices are sapped – until night comes.

I still lay awake for hours, thinking thoughts, and unscrambling the words that are tumbling about in my head. Yet, I’m too tired to get out of bed to write them down, and know that if I do muster the energy to do so – that I’ll regret it the next day when I’m supposed to be playing with my kids, studying, and living the normal life.

We talk about balancing life – putting the most important things first – and finding time for ourselves, but I have yet to figure out how to do it on a regular basis. I have my good days and my bad. My good days usually start and end with a prayer for help. I get some exercise, play with my kids, do a couple of basic chores, execute a meal, do some schoolwork, read scriptures, take a little me time, and plan for tomorrow. Those days actually do happen – but somehow – they don’t stay around for long. It seems we inevitably get thrown a curve ball just to see if we can catch it in time to plug it into our juggling act. Once we carry that one off – we’re thrown another. I don’t know that there’s really any true secret to balancing it all with success, except for maybe this: Do it the way the Lord would do it, conference with him about how to do it, and keep trying until you get it right or at least get through it.

That’s it for now,
Marzee Dyer (aka "BigZee")
Washington, USA

Journal Daze: Share a day in your life, an entry from your journal. Email your Journal Daze to Women Afire. Be sure to title your subject "Journal Daze: (Title of your entry)". Visit Submissions for more information.
Note: Any inappropriate material will NOT be published, use discretion.