Workaholics: Mothers & Forgotten Families (Part 2 of 2)

It’s easy to point the finger at the guy or gal who is working overtime – pushing the limits to provide for life’s comforts – and occasionally, its luxuries. It’s easy to say that their family is suffering because they aren’t putting first things first. What about us mothers? Is it possible that we’re neglecting to fulfill our roles appropriately because we’re putting too much on ourselves? Are we getting overloaded with unnecessary distractions and forgetting to put emphasis and attention on what’s truly important?

I know it’s easy to get caught up in the little things, household chores, errands, helping someone with this project, getting the kids to this activity or that sport, etc. What I think many of us are forgetting is to breathe, relax, and just be with our families. To not rush through it all, but enjoy and roll in the togetherness and the time that we’ve been given. We need more family togetherness, more teaching moments, more play, and less of those things that pull us away from each other. I love what Rachel Keller said, “All I can say is simplify, simplify, simplify, easier said than done but we are so much happier when we are living the simple life, not keeping up with everyone else when it comes to what we have and what we do.”

We don’t have to do it all, and it is often the case, that we’re much happier when we don’t. It seems to me that it’s better to just do the basics well. What are the basics? I believe that they are individual to each family – but somewhere in there you may find:

1. Teaching & practicing with your children the things that matter. God, Strong Morals & Ethics, How to love & serve, Responsible living, etc.
2. Family Time. Eating meals together, having activities together, learning together, REGULARLY – DAILY.
3. Providing the essentials and I do mean the essentials – Secure home, clothing, good education, healthcare, basic resources for successful/healthy living.
   
   

Another aspect of this that jumps out at me is our children. What are we teaching them by running around crazy with our crazy schedules? Are we allowing our kids to become workaholics themselves, taking on too many extracurricular activities? Are we teaching by example that doing "everything" is more important than taking time for each other? Or are we teaching them that family comes first?

The other stuff – is just extra. We have to ask ourselves – are we focusing on and fulfilling the things that are most important, or are we being overburdened and distracted by the extra? The other effect from having too much of the extra is that with the extra comes more responsibility for the parent – it increases cost & sacrifices time. Often, the thing that we as women and mothers sacrifice is ourselves, our special time. Somewhere in all of the busyness of life, we need to remember to journal, go on a date, say a personal prayer, read the scriptures, exercise a talent, and set goals for further growth. Now all we have to do is figure out how we can cut back some of the extra and magnify the simple, so that we may find a little extra peace and a lot more family togetherness.

Discussion: What things help you to evaluate where to cut back?

Workaholics: Part 1

Written By: Marzee Dyer
Photo By: Andrew Scott

27 years of age, Marzee has never been much farther than the green puddles of the Northwest (Oregon & Washington, USA). She has been happily married to Jon for seven years, is a stay at home mother of three, college student, and youth mentor. She is the founder of WomenAfire. Hobbies: Singing at church, dancing with her kids, hangin' with her husband, fitness, teaching, reading (Stephenie Meyer) & writing.

Workaholics: Doomed to failure? (Part 1 of 2)

Today one may easily argue that the symptomatic “Workaholic” is created by imbalances in our society, rather than choice for greater luxury. It used to be that Workaholics were defined as people who willingly chose to neglect family and other responsibilities in order to provide themselves with excessive work so that they may increase their income, affording greater luxuries in life. Is the position of the workaholic still a matter of choice, or has it now become a product of a weakened economy?

While wages have not necessarily decreased, the value of them has with the decreasing value of the dollar (national debt), while the cost of living and taxation continue to rise with inflation. It seems increasing that men and women are working more jobs and seeking out greater training to simply make ends meet. No longer are men and women able to come out of college a baccalaureate and provide a decent income to support a growing family. One now needs not only a master’s degree but a minimum of five years experience to be readily considered for a job that makes more than $40K a year.

In order to compensate, providers are now working multiple jobs while increasing their education and training in their “spare” time. All this is done in hopes of securing a future career that pays enough to sustain growing needs, without logging away excessive hours. So as one can see, it is easily conceived that a provider of a small growing family may work over 40 hrs. a week while attending school part or full time. Additionally, we're seeing a decrease in parents being at home with their children, as they are often both working to afford the comforts they desire. Those families employing both parents seem to be losing out with the hours drawn away from each other and their children. It would seem that Workaholics are doomed to failure as their hard work is not only sacrificing family and other important aspects of life, but is no longer affording excessive luxuries, instead only simple needs and comforts.

How do we cope with these challenges while still affording time for the other good and arguably more important things in life; family, church, fitness, play, etc.? How do we balance providing for our way of life while successfully enjoying the living part?

Workaholics: Part 2

Written By: Marzee Dyer
Photo By: Salon de Maria

27 years of age, Marzee has never been much farther than the green puddles of the Northwest (Oregon & Washington, USA). She has been happily married to Jon for seven years, is a stay at home mother of three, college student, and youth mentor. She is the founder of WomenAfire. Hobbies: Singing at church, dancing with her kids, hangin' with her husband, fitness, teaching, reading (Stephenie Meyer) & writing.