So, I like to consider myself as a girl who is pretty even-keel. I don’t get overly emotional about stupid little things (though I’m a big cry baby when it comes to sappy movies, spiritual moments, or others’ tales of woe), am usually slow to anger, and don’t sweat the small stuff. And yet, here I am . . . . taking the day off from “normal life” because I realized that I needed a break. Do you ever get stressed without noticing it – and then all of a sudden – bam, the signs are right there before your face? Well, that’s what I did this weekend.
Minding my own business I discovered that while I was trying to do all the good things I’m supposed to do, I was also craving chocolate, sugary treats, not sleeping well, and then . . . . started to feel the onset of a cold with the fatigue, swollen glands and sore throat. That’s when I realized that my zombie looking blotched eyes, acne ridden chocolate face, and raspy throat (seems I’ve already got my Halloween costume – yuck!) were manifestations of the stress I was internalizing from moving, schooling, mothering, and running a household. And to think, I didn’t even know that I was stressed! Isn’t it funny how we as women take on so much, don’t (often) complain – and then all of a sudden, break down a bit because we were carrying more than we could handle?
I think about the scriptures, the Savior telling us to, “Bear ye one another’s burdens.” I’m more than delighted to help bear others’ burdens . . . . but often refuse to allow them to bear mine. I think that is common to women. More often than not, we struggle with our burdens in silence . . . until we break down, get sick, go into depression, eat a gallon of ice cream, or dry up the local reserves of Kleenex. Isn’t it selfish of me to not allow others to do service by accepting their help . . . or maybe even asking for it? I know that I feel of greater value to my friends and family when I can be of service to them, should I deny them the same? I want them to know that I need them, that they’re central to my well-being. So, tomorrow – I’m going to ask for help, so that I can get a couple of papers written and some packing done!
Washington, USA
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3 comments:
A friend told me just the other day that she had finally learned to allow people the blessing of serving her rather than always refuse. I wish I was there to take your kids for a couple hours! You were so sweet to think to call and offer that for me when I was selling the house and moving!
I think if you have family or friends who are near you and offer to help, it's good to accept it. It really is hard to do so, for many reasons. Sometimes I find some people offer hoping you never really accept it. My husband calls it "lip service". (That gets annoying.) But if you have people around you who truly do want to help, let them help you. Cuz I think if you say no, it's like telling God no, and He's probably like, but didn't you just pray for some help? :) God helps those who help themselves and helping yourself includes accepting help for yourself. When you are taken care of, is when you can best take care of those around you. It's hard to do when you are a momma though. I know that I am always thinking of other first, before self, then like you said, eventually your body/mind will MAKE you take care of yourself (in a less fun way). Hope you feel lots better soon! :)
Cynthia -
I love this point
"if you have people around you who truly do want to help, let them help you. Cuz I think if you say no, it's like telling God no, and He's probably like, but didn't you just pray for some help? :) God helps those who help themselves and helping yourself includes accepting help for yourself."
So good! I think we often forget that Heavenly Father helps us through others.
Nancy - thanks, I don't know that I ever watched the kids . . . . but I would have - they're great!
-Marzee
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