Let me tell you all a little something about jealousy; it is a bad thing. While I can’t claim to be an authority on the subject, I have, like most of you, had some experience with the green eyed monster. Fortunately I’ve also known a little of the opposite feeling. I am certain you all have as well. I am referring to the times when we have experienced true happiness for the success or good fortune of another, when we have wanted good things for someone even when we may not have those same good things for ourselves. Likely, I am no expert on this topic either, but having known both of these feelings with varied intensity throughout my lifetime, I have begun to see the extreme difference in the affect these emotions have on my own well being. With that said, I will proceed to share a few of the insights I have gained as I have become more aware of how degrading and harmful jealousies can be and how much true joy can be gained by striving to develop more love and charity for those we come into contact with.
It is difficult to always pinpoint an exact cause when our jealous nature rears its ugly little head. Occasionally it comes as a result of thinking that someone has been unfairly rewarded, that they do not deserve their good fortune, good looks, smart children, nice home or romantic husband. But, it is often aimed at someone who should not, for any obvious reason, excite such emotions in us. Perhaps it is because they have certain things we’ve always desired and don’t see as being within our grasp. Could it even be that they are similar enough to us that we envy them for having some of our own unique traits or blessings? Perhaps we don’t like sharing the things we feel make us unique. Maybe we worry that another has developed a shared talent further than we have.
In my own little instances, I find that my envy is often aimed at someone who outwardly no one might consider I should be jealous of. Still, they may share a passion or blessing that I have. Possibly they have a physical trait, financial blessings, or skill that I wish I had. This in turn causes me to feel extremely competitive, like I must appear to have and be better than this person in every possible way. Generally this person is either unaware of the jealousy aimed at them or worse, made uncomfortable by it.
Written By: Nancy Harris
Photo By: summer luu
Discussion: What is the cause of jealousy? Do you agree with Nancy that we can become jealous of those who possess like qualities that we feel make ourselves special, thus resenting that they’ve taken that uniqueness from us? Or that they’ve better developed a talent that you also have, making your abilities appear as less?
Jealousy: Part 2, Part 3
If you have specific questions or comments for this author, please direct them to her in your comment(s).
Nancy Harris (31) resides in Utah with her husband, “favorite human,” of nine years and her four (soon to be five) children. She received a degree in Zoology from Weber State University in 2000, was born tenth in a family of eleven children, and loves to run (whether or not she’s being chased). Nancy is known for her light and charismatic writing style which, while unassuming and often humorous, gives thoughtful insight and perspective to life’s little challenges.
4 comments:
I love the fact that Nancy pushes us to look beyond our jealousies of things we covet but don't have - and instead opens us to the concept that many of our jealousies lie in feeling that our own unique gifts seem less, compared to someone who has developed them further (or maybe just in a way we had never before considered).
-Marzee
I liked that insight as well. A good thing to remember about jealousy, we cannot truly be having Christlike love towards someone if we are jealous, because if we really love them we are happy for their successes, even if it makes our successes or strengths seem smaller. All we need is love, as the beatles say!
This was a really interesting way to look at things. I completely agree. If there is something I do well (which at times feels like so little) then I know I at least get upset when someone else can do it, especially better. It makes me feel like I can do even less, or that what I can do is less important. I know... Its not the right way to think. I have been reading the great and the terrible books and 100% believe that we each have those who are whispering in our ears, and jealousy is a big tool that seems to work so well for them.
Keep these coming! I am really enjoying this. Thank you Marzee and Jon for starting this up. (Miss you both!)
I liked what Jen said, because that is how I have often felt, like, "This is my thing!! How come you are now doing it better?" But maybe Rachel is right, that is far far from love and I think noticing and admitting it is a start, and what then? I could even use tips, but I think we have to pray pray for charity and love!
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