The Cure to a Dissatisfied Life

There are times in our lives when we feel very disappointed in ourselves, wondering if we're taking wise advantage of our time on Earth. Perhaps we have been wasteful of this precious gift, this mortal experience or detest the fact that where we are in life is a (relatively) direct result of what we have or have not done with the life we have lived, often finding some dissatisfaction in our personal growth and the goals/dreams that we have or have not achieved.

Feeling Small
I remember a time, as a young wife and mother, when I was attending a function for the Young Women in our church. We were celebrating those girls who were graduating high school and moving on to the next exciting steps in their lives. Many of them had earned scholarships, awards, AA degrees, and other recognitions - all by the tender age of eighteen. While I was pleased for the girls and their accomplishments, I felt very disappointed in my own, realizing that I had never earned any scholarship, had not yet gained a college degree of any sort, and so forth. I went home that night with a heavy heart, crying in disappointment for the lack in my own personal growth and accomplishments.

We all have moments when we find ourselves in circumstances that make us feel very small. Small in multiple ways; accomplishment, intelligence, spiritual growth, etc. Luckily, we rarely feel these insignificances all at once. Many people can be in such environments and thrive, seeing them as opportunities to learn more, gleaning wisdom from people who are exemplary in some way or another. Why do we so often fail to have that mindset?


Opportunity for Personal Growth
Rather than being grateful for the examples and strength of those young women, I compared myself to them and belittled myself for having not done similarly. The problem here was that rather than seeing the opportunity of such a moment, I wallowed in self pity. As Nancy pointed out in her Jealousy series, we often compare ourselves to those people who seem to have greater talents, opportunities, experiences, material possessions and so forth. When really, we should change our point of view and see their examples as something we may pattern our own successful living after. When my sense returned, I realized that there really is no true comparison, as we are all different in the gifts we hold, the talents we develop, the opportunities and challenges that come to us, as well as what we make of them. Our use and application of these things is what sets us apart from each other. No two people are alike, and so – we may learn from multiple people and their experiences throughout our lifetime. Here are a few things that I believe can help us to become the people that we long to be:

Helpful Tips
1. Write it down! Collect your thoughts in a journal entry. Record your feelings and aspirations. Ponder on what you want to do. Once you've figured out what that is, make sure you list the things you will have to sacrifice to achieve this as well as the ways your life will be improved when succeeding.

2. Find a Role Model or Mentor. If you’re not sure where to start, ask your friend what they found most helpful in honing a specific skill, or gaining a certain accomplishment. Find things that your new role model has done successfully that you may apply to your own life. Write it down and apply it!

3. Set small goals. Make small goals with flexible deadlines. I emphasize “small” because if you only set big ones, you may find yourself discouraged before reaching the first one. Make your goals small enough so that you aren’t burnt out before fulfilling them. And “flexibility” in your goal deadlines allow you to adjust without giving up. Flexible does not mean putting it off forever, but giving yourself a small window in which to accomplish the task (rather than a specific date).

4. Be accountable! It helps to have someone to report to – let them know your intentions and that you want them to be your “marker,” checking in occasionally to report your progress.

5. Reward yourself. When you achieve those small milestones, reward yourself appropriately. Yes, you could easily purchase some token – another idea would be to reward yourself with fun personal time – bubble bath, hike, reading a favorite book in a quiet place, etc. Keep the rewards small so that they’re easy to cash in (rather than avoiding them because you don’t have the funds or means to treat yourself).

We all experience times when we feel low, that we haven’t made all of the right decisions or accomplished enough. Rather than wallowing, we need to do something about those feelings – turn them around into opportunities of how to achieve greater growth. You know what you haven’t done and what you admire in others’ abilities and accomplishments . . . . Now it’s time to learn from their experiences and apply that knowledge to your life! I'm thankful for those people in my life that inspire me to work harder to become a better woman. I know that I want to learn and grow so that I may fulfill my potential - I'm sure that most of you are no different. We know what we want, and have great people around us to pattern after, all we need to do is to set some goals, stick to them, and grow!

Discussion: Have you used any of these ideas to aid you in your personal growth, if so – how did they help you? What’s your personal experience? Do you have any tips outside of those listed that may inspire another?

Written By: Marzee Dyer
Photo By: kimrv

27 years of age, Marzee has never been much farther than the green puddles of the Northwest (Oregon & Washington, USA). She has been happily married to Jon for seven years, is a stay at home mother of three, college student, and youth mentor. She is the founder of WomenAfire. Hobbies: Singing at church, dancing with her kids, hangin' with her husband, fitness, teaching, reading (Stephenie Meyer) & writing.